Consciousness

It's a glorious day here. Warm, sunny, and not a cloud in the sky. It's a shame I slept in as late as i did. I figured it's been a while since I've written and organized my thoughts. The following is just a few things that have been on my mind for one reason or another and it's time to get them out of my head. I should really get out and enjoy the great weather, but it's so great to be home. The past month has been very taxing and I haven't really been able to just stay at home and be left alone with nothing more than my wandering thoughts, a book, and a good cup of french press. I often forget what a luxury it is to be completely alone with one's self.

This quarter I'm taking a painting class and I'm really excited. I thought about painting in my garage, but it was too dark and scary. The chances of meeting numerous small animals—namely spiders—didn't really appeal to me. After scouting around the house, I found a space that is not really being used to it's full potential. I went on a mad cleaning/putting-stuff-back-where-it-belongs spree and might have ensued the wrath of my fellow house-mates. A stern lecture from one of them soon followed as I was eating lunch and watching Sex in the City. It put a slight dent in my somewhat perfect day, but oh well. These things happen.

I forged my way through an army of empty canning jars and quilting supplies and was victorious in clearing a countertop. I found a small space in the cupboard in which to store my art supplies so they wouldn't be out, cluttering up the pristine countertop. Everything was perfect last night when I went to bed. I awoke to my cell ringing "Music is my boyfriend... music is my girlfriend.." Somewhat annoying to me nowdays, I need a new ringtone. It was a friend wondering if we were still on for Awakening. We weren't, considering the fact that I was still half asleep and would refuse anything pre-coffee. I slept more. Woke up and made french press. While walking around my house, reveling in the extreme cleanliness that I had earlier produced, I decided that it would be a perfect time to make an attempt at painting.

Attempt was the correct word. I definitely need to brush up. No pun intended. This is bad. I'm turning into my father who has a one-pun-per-minute ratio in his conversations, casual or professional. Slightly Embarrassing. Note to self—no more puns. I love my dad. I can call him when I want to talk about music or anything. Or if I just want to forget reality. Calling my dad is like a little bit of a mind trip at times. He is somewhat bipolar, but he is brilliant. He is always up to something new. Last month it was skiing and re-building a bum cello he purchased online. Now he is buying bad violins, taking them apart, and experimenting on improving their acoustics. He makes all his tools that he uses for his projects. He improvises and builds presses and moulds. I think he could build anything. As a child, I can remember us sitting at a restaurant waiting for our "just desserts" and he was sketching some machine on napkins and explaining all the facts and figures to me. Socially, the man is not so refined in common sense, but wow. He is so smart in math, music, engineering, and he can paint. I'm just now realizing how great he is. I called him yesterday to tell him that I'm going to see Radiohead (WOO! No need to tell you how excited I am!) and he was excited for me. I told him I had an extra ticket and he said, "I'll be on the next plane..." Silly dad. I can always tell him about that stuff. He follows bands and I am always surprised when he drops a name that I wouldn't expect.

It's tough when parents get a divorce and you never see the other side of your family. Then you turn 18 and you find out a lot of things. I'm just glad that I got to know my dad's mom before she died. I really loved her. She even looks liked like me. It's like her looks/personality skipped a generation and I inherited them. I remember when we were shopping and we went to Starbucks. She had never been there and I bought her a frappucino. She loved it and we went back a couple days later because she really wanted another. Grandpa was remodeling the shower so instead of washing our hair that day, we went to the salon and got our hair washed. She had long snow white hair that she always wore in a bun on the top of her head. Kind of like a ballet teacher would. I wonder if I'll look like her even when I am old. Kind of strange to think about that. Most of the time I have the mindset that I'll never get old. Then I realize that in seven years and four months, I will be 30. Whoa. I guess it's not that bad.

I went shopping at my favorite grocery store Super 1 at 1 a.m. a couple mornings ago. I bought strange things. I wandered the health foods section and found recycled paper towels, biodegradable dishwashing detergent, and other random organic stuff. I've been thinking about the environment a little more lately. I hate it when people have those big totes that say "green is gorgeous" and then they jump in their hummer and go to Walmart for some underpriced shirt that some child in malaysia died while making. Buying a bag isn't going to make you green. Recycling isn't going to do much good if people don't purchase recycled goods. I realized this while browsing through that section of the store. There are recycled kitchen garbage bags, sandwich bags, saran wrap, and all manner of goods. The price was maybe 10¢ more than the un-recycled alternatives.

As a poor college student, it is hard to be all green and environmentally responsible. I was thinking about the things that I could do without spending too much money. Walking more. Buying green clothing is slightly out of the question at this point. I'm not willing to spend $75 for an organic cotton t-shirt. I am willing to spend an extra 10¢ on recycled products. Buying items with the least packaging, using less shopping bags or just bringing my own... I don't want to be a bag lady though. Haha! I can purchase fair trade coffee. I can make more stuff from scratch. Buying more fruit/veggies/less processed foods cuts down on packaging and also you aren't contributing to the pollution that is created from the refinement of the product. I also recently read that if you store foods in glass containers in the fridge, it makes your fridge not have to work as hard to keep things cold as when you use plastic containers. In the end I still have questions. What is the benefit of all of this? Just one person making small changes isn't going to make that big of a difference if the whole of America makes no changes. I guess I can just sleep better at night. I just think that most people would be happier if they simplified their lives—but not turn into one of the yuppie environmentalists that are out walking the streets, searching for other's approval of what they look like they look like they are doing for the environment.

I ended up getting these flowers from my back yard and tried to paint them. I thought the pink ones would be easiest and most attractive, but I was surprised at how cool the tiny twisted petals of the yellow flowers tuned out. I was also surprised that turnips aren't as bad tasting as everyone makes them out to be. Random fact. I bought them as a cooking experiment and they were tasty. I forgot what they were when I was buying them and the check out guy did too. It was pretty funny at the time.

Lately I've been listening to the latest Cat Power album called Jukebox. It is a bit more upbeat that her other album, The Greatest. Enjoyable. I like 'New York', 'metal heart' and 'Lord, help the poor and needy'. This album almost reminds me of a female version of the Black Keys and Feist mixed with a slightly more meaningful message and lyrics. I've definitely overplayed 'The Greatest' and it was time for a new set of songs.